Why What You “Should” Be Is Killing Your Business

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“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” – Danielle LaPorte

Uncovering (& Why It’s Necessary For Your Business)

My jelly slip ons flip flapped on the hot, Texas pavement. I was wearing my favorite two piece outfit. A biking short and tank top combo with baskets of fruit printed all over it. I could feel the anticipation all the way down to my toes.

Would I see him? Did he like me?

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The little boy down the street had a mess of white blonde curly hair. He was the sweetest! Even gifted me with an Indian penny necklace that his Grandpa gave him. We’d chase each other around the backyard with no thought to who was watching.

Let’s fast forward.

I’m 12, I’m on the beach, and I feel like a total boy. I’d switched over from my normal “little girl” bathing suit to a triangle bikini top (what?!). I looked at my lean, tiny body and wished for curves. Wished for those womanly dips and slopes that I’d seen portrayed many, many times.

In a way, I hated my body. And, then…


I was told to cover up. At Church, the youth pastors would take me aside and tell me I was bringing the “wrong” sorts of attention to myself and distracting the boys.

That little girl, strutting down the street in her jellies got a little further away. I watched her take a step back from me. I learned to hide.

Let’s fast forward.

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I’m sitting on the steps of my college, right in front of my dorm. I’m totally unsure of myself. I mean, I graduated a year early to “escape” and had no clue what I’d gotten myself into.

I’d worn a gypsy outfit for Halloween. A silk burgundy skirt and a sparkly top. Layers of flounce. I felt the stares of a few girls that lived down the hall. It didn’t feel comfortable.

Who was I to make them feel bad? To intimidate or challenge them? No, surely not me.

That little girl, so full of confidence, unabashedly aware and happy with herself, her energy and her body…well, she all but disappeared.

Why am I telling you this story? The story where I learned, over the years, from various sources, that it wasn’t safe for me to be who I am? That’s it’s better to hide, lest I offend.

Well, Dearest One, hiding out and altering yourself to fit what you think is acceptable may be killing your business.

The Truth & Re-Connecting

Guess what? You’re a Feminine Leader, as Elizabeth Purvis would say, and you not standing in your power as a unique individual can be hindering others from…

  1. Being attracted to your work and
  2. Being confident in what you’re offering

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

The thing is, what sets you apart, what makes your business magnetic, is that you are true to who you are. That means you’re attracting others in an authentic and real way.

Whether we consciously know it or not, we’re always attracting or repelling others. And, that’s a good thing! “Everyone” should NOT be a fit for your service or product.

So, what message are you sending to the world? About yourself? About your work?

I challenge you to re-connect with that little girl. The person you were “before the world told you who you should be” (#truthbomb from Danielle Laporte).

How does she show up in the world? What does she feel? What are her core beliefs and values? Embody those, Love.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! Answer these two questions in the comments section below.

  1. Who were you before the world told you who to be?
  2. How can you step into that in your current life and business?

You’ve got this, Girl. You ARE a Feminine Leader. And, by stepping into your truth, you give others permission to do the same.



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2 thoughts on “Why What You “Should” Be Is Killing Your Business

  1. I love this blog post, Jessica! I’ve been thinking a lot about who I once was, before life got ‘serious’ and I tried to fit in with the corporate world and all the grown ups LOL!
    I feel like my twenties took me away from that little girl who loved Celtic Legends, Mysteries and Whale Song CDs (such a little hippy!) and now in my thirties I am finding her again. Xx

    1. Thank you, Hayley! How beautiful! I can picture that little girl right now. <3 I'm so glad you're re-connecting with her.

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