I feel the bright sun on my face. Soft gusts of wind sweep baby tendrils of hair away from my forehead, and I languish in the embrace of the robins egg blue, luxurious robe that wraps loosely around me.
“This is what joy feels like,” I think. A thought like a song that plays over and over in my head.
It’s been only a few short days since I saw that second blue line, so faint, pop up on the test. My heart crushes with excitement and anticipation. It’s not my first rodeo, I know what happens next.
I know what holding a new baby feels like. I know how your whole life turns upside down, and your story forever changes. How the gift of a little soul is an honor. I know this. I welcome it.
And here I am. I’m ensconced in this little slice of paradise (some call it a Spa) with my childhood friend and a new friend who’s rooming with us. We’re all lounging around like cats in the sun. The warm baths, pink Himalayan sea salt scrub and fresh juices have done something to us.
You can FEEL joy. Walls coming down. My heart is expanding and pulsating like the blood in my veins. And I don’t feel worthy. But I embrace it all the same.
I think towards the time that lies directly ahead of me. A business retreat with my coach, specifically on sales. Sales is my newfound love and obsession. I’m giddy as I think about embracing old friends and making new ones.
I can’t wait to dive deeper into the Woman that I am. The desire is amplified with the future promise of a newborn. It’s putting me into hyper-drive, this little one. I’ve already secured my midwife, made calls and arrangements.
The funny thing is, this little one is almost no more than a twinkle in my eye right now. But, I can’t help it. I prayed for this baby.
We meander around the Spa grounds, finding ourselves outside at their private pool. We replaced our robes with swimsuits, because guys can be down there too. The pool is a shock of cool water surrounded by a Texas hill country landscape.
We lounge on “S” shaped chairs that sit in the water. We wait, forgetting our phones, for the opening circle to begin.
And I’m on fire. From getting ready, to throwing arms around familiar necks, to hearing everyones' introductions. This room is FULL of powerful Women. You can taste the greatness. I’m reveling in it. All of it.
Can it be possible to feel this good?
Little did I know that this joy would be challenged with such a swiftness that it would, literally, take my breath away. And break down everything I thought about myself and this world.
In one afternoon. An afternoon that felt like a million days all rolled into one.
Stay tuned for Part 2: Blindsided, I don't believe it and fading out. It'll roll out next week (Nov 28, 2017) Sweets. Comment below with one moment in your life that stood out for its beauty.