When Others’ Struggles Take You Out

Do you have a close friend or family member that’s really struggling? And, their struggle distracts and pulls you from your everyday life?

What do I mean by this? Well…if someone close to you is going through the “storm”, as I like to call it, then you may be feeling compelled to do a couple of things.

Like, save them. Put your energy and heart into trying to fix things, praying ceaselessly, even crying and mourning on their behalf.

If you’re reading this, you’re most likely an empathetic individual. You feel deeply. You care for others profoundly, and that’s a beautiful part of your being.

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The Truth

Here’s the rub. When we put all of our energy into “saving”, “fixing” or generally trying to do the heavy lifting for those we love…

We take away their power.

Sit with that for a moment. Does that feel true? I know it is for me.

And, you also take the focus off of your growth and stepping into being the best you can possibly be for yourself and your business.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t care, help or give energy to those you love. What I am saying is that you stop putting someone else’s “freak out” or “hard time” over your own well-being.

They CAN get better, have more and step into joy. Believe that for them!

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Be Free

What does this do for you? Allows you to show up in your own life, not weighed down, and able to be the best you there is in the world.

That translates into a stronger business. A more vital life. It’s an energy thing, truly.

I have a confession to make…I’m not very good at this. But, I’m working on it.

On the plane ride back from a powerful and transformative business retreat I went to, a member of my inner circle kept coming up for me. There’s a song that plays, and I always think of him.

Unbidden, this poem flew into my mind. I could barely keep up with my thoughts, furiously typing on my iPhone.

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Letting Go

It’s about letting go. It’s about surrender. Not passive. Still in your power…but surrender all the same. And believing for someone else. Standing in that belief with strength.

As you read this, imagine yourself in the position of the writer. And, I want you to imagine yourself watching the person you love that’s struggling and releasing them. OK?

I see you. I’ve always seen you. 


The way you hide, because you weren’t accepted and loved as a child. 

I see the way you stuff everything down, but you show me glimpses of the beauty inside. 

I see the way you reject your light. Because it’s so much safer to feign darkness. 


I see you. I see you. I see you. 


You are seen. You are loved. Do you know how much I love you?

This life seems scary – I know. But you aren’t meant to lay down in fear. 

Dear One, where are you? 


I see you. 


You’re inside, so secretly tucked away. 

In illness; in silence; in solitude; in avoidance. In pain. 

I wish, I yearn, to take away that pain. 


But your journey, your freedom, is through the pain. I can’t walk that for you. 


But, I can dance. Like the warrior, I beat my fists against my chest. My feet pound the earth like a heart beat. 

As you go into battle, I’m here. 

Let the sound of my warrior cry bubble up inside of you. 


Let me hear you roar. You run into the battle, the pain, and I’m at your side. 


The darkness lifts, it brightens, and you see beams of light pierce the dense trees overhead. 

I watch you go ahead of me. 


You slow, and stop. You take in the light and openness at the edge of this dark wood. 

You look back at me. You’re safe now. 


And you step into the light. 

Now, I’d love to hear your heart! Is there a situation or person in your life that constantly pulls you from your purpose, or that you always want to rescue? What shift would you like to make? Comment below to join the conversation.






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