One of the biggest struggles my often introverted clients (and myself) deal with is being visible. Being seen for exactly who you are, what you stand for and what your business offers without apology. Giving zero f***s.
What are we afraid of? Rejection. Loss of love. Being misunderstood. Cast out of the tribe. Do any of these resonate with you?
Visibility is a practice. It’s stepping out in that spotlight, time and time again, and believing that you’re worth being uncomfortable for a little while. YOUR growth is worth it. The people you’re put here to serve are worth it.
I think a mistake can be made that the people we see being visible and owning their power don’t have misgivings. Don’t struggle with visibility at all.
Well, that may be true in some cases. I DO know people who love being in the limelight, and they’ve been doing it so long it’s as easy as breathing. Even if there are little butterflies involved.
That’s not the case for most of us, though.
Let’s rewind the clock a little bit. It’s roughly three years ago. I’ve got my Canon 5D Mark II on a tripod, camera-ready makeup and on-brand outfit. I’ve written the script for my “About Me” video, and I’m ready to go.
Except I’m not. I race over to the kitchen, grab the tequila we have (in case of emergency), and I take a shot. OK, deep breath. I’ve got this! I create the video, and people even praise me for it! “It looks so professional, Jess!” What they didn’t see is my gazillion outtakes. Where I start talking, stop and start again, often with cuss words sprinkled in. It was kinda’ hilarious, now that I think about it.
Fast forward to today. Videos no longer scare the pants off of me (or make me take shots). They energize and excite me! The shift? Doing it enough that I’m now able to relax in that space and share honestly and openly.
That may not be so secret though.
I have a challenge with visibility that only my closest, personal friends know about.
Yep. Lots of it. Since the pregnancy and birth of my Son, I’ve struggled with ridiculously challenging adult acne. My teenage self freaked out at one pimple. Boy, I didn’t know what it could be like!
Every single time I get out there and want to be visible, I have to make a few choices.
- To get out there and serve, or to hide.
- To bless others, or to let my acne stop me.
- To reject a huge part of myself (my face), or to deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- To choose power, or to choose fear.
- To embrace my imperfections, or to hate them.
- To live out my purpose, or to let something as simple as an infected hair follicle stop me.
I don’t know what your exact struggle with visibility is, but I know that you can make these choices too. To take that focus off of yourself and your perceived shortcomings and place it ONTO those you’re meant to serve.
To choose that again and again, until the choice feels lighter. Easier. To embody that Woman who gives zero f***s. Did I mention that’s been my mantra for a while? I spent my childhood and early adult years caring so much what others thought of me, and pleasing others, I got lost in the noise. I lost who I was, and how I help others most. Forget that, right?
I’d love to know if this resonates with you. What’s your secret struggle with visibility? Comment below to share with me and join the conversation.