I gave my power away to my Husband for years. Without even realizing it, I was giving him the creative power that I had to make money. To grow. Giving him all of the responsibility to support our family, allowing me to stay small in my business and to make it “OK” that I didn’t push through my own fears.
He would say, “Babe, I don’t want you to be stressed. We don’t NEED to make money from your business.” And, ya’ know what? At that time, we didn’t.
Until we did. Out of sheer force of necessity, I was put in the position to take my power back.
Now, I don’t want you sitting here thinking this was my Husband’s fault. Not at all! I made the (unconscious) decision, and I take responsibility for the fact that I was afraid to trust myself. I thought I wasn’t possibly good enough to take the reins in my own life. Could I really do it?
When Daniel got a 90 day notice that everyone on his rig was being laid of, the ground flew from beneath my feet. All of the sudden, all “security” that I’d felt over the years was gone. There was a big, wide maw of uncertainty that gaped in front of me.
My mind would spin, “How are we going to make this work? I’ve made good money here and there in my business, but is it enough? Can I make more? Consistently? What kind of job will he find on land?”
It went on, and on and on. The fear, the spinning…the doubt.
Then, through a miraculous placement of the right person (at the right time), I realized that I WASN’T powerless. I was a Woman who went after her desires with her whole heart. I don’t give up easily. I can take a few punches, if you know what I mean.
No one showed up to one of my workshops a few years ago? I cried and then decided I would never let that stop me. I put on another, and another, and changed my tactics to fill them. Heard “No” again and again in the sales call? I gritted my teeth and learned more about sales.
(By the way, I cover the number one thing you need to be doing to close a sale in my free video sales course.)
But all of that didn't really matter, because I wasn't taking ownership that I was (and still am) the only one creating my reality.
I recall the exact moment that “I went Pro.” I can hold that moment in my mind’s eye and relive it.
I’d just returned from a retreat with my business mentor. The retreat opened up something inside of me. It connected me to the Woman who doesn’t hide away from saying hard things, truthful things, even if it’s not a “popular” thing to say. It connected me to the Woman who stands tall, who loves and lives fiercely and who gives zero f***s.
Yes, ZERO. I show up and shine and create from a place of service, yes, but not from a place of fear that being who I am won’t be received. That people won’t like me. I was done with that.
So, plopping down at my dining room table after a day of travel back home from the retreat, I watched my Husband struggle. I watched the weight of our family’s livelihood weigh heavily on his shoulders. His mouth was strung into a tight line. I could see the joy gone from his eyes. I could see that all of the responsibility, even responsibility FOR me, keeping him from flourishing.
All of that pressure.
And something broke inside of me. I didn’t want him to do this all on his own anymore. This was my time. My time to not only take my power back, but to free my Husband from the pressure and allow him to create within his OWN life without all of that weight on him.
I crawled into his lap, took his face in my hands, and let him know that I was going to take care of us now. He’d done enough, he could release the pressure. I was there. I was in my power. I realized I had just as much capability as him to bring in income.
In that moment, after those words passed my lips, I felt his shoulders sag. The tension left his body. Tears streamed down his cheeks, the first I’ve seen, and I crumbled into him. We embraced and wept.
I made three sales that following week.
That was the moment that changed the way I think about my life and my business. If you’re sitting reading this, waiting for your Partner to make some extra money, get a raise or find a better job….Stop.
No judgement, of course! I was in your shoes many-a-year. I got the T-shirt. And, you don’t know…until you do. And, now you do.
What do you want to do with your creative power? How do you want to show up today? What have you been giving away to someone else? A parent, your children (yes, even them), your spouse?
Share how you want to show up today, Lovely, in the comment section below. What does "in your power" mean to you?
*Wedding image credit - William Bichara Photography